COVID 19 – A virus, being capable to enter the main headlines everyday and to control our lives exceedingly in a dramatic way. The world stands still. The most beautiful and valuable ways of expressing love, like hugs, kisses, holding hands, can’t be seen anymore. Just because of a small particle, which is even not visible to our eyes.

„Have you ever thought, that a small virus can create such a chain reaction in a minimum of time?“

No, I guess not. But we should see this incident as a great lesson and take time resulting from this to reflect on particular things. Couple of days ago, during a walk at my place of silence, I was remembering one of my favourite stories, which I am going to share with you in the following.

Why anger is not a good guide 

Dshinghin Khan- a proud king- was very thirsty on a summer day, so he decided to get water outside with his favourite animal falcon. Due to the strong heat, it was difficult to find water. After a while Dshinghin Khan could luckily find a trickle of water in a rock and filled up his cup immediately. At the moment when the proud king led the cup in the direction of his lips, his falcon grabbed him and spilled the water.  The action of his falcon, made him feel angry, but Dshinghin Khan spared his falcon, since it was his favourite animal.

Once again, the proud conqueror filled his cup with water, but the falcon didn’t let him drink again. Being not able to tolerate this behavior, Dshinghin Khan decided to stab in the chest of his beloved falcon. Unfortunately, there was no more water, hence he climbed the rock to look for the source of the water. Finding the source, made him not happy, because he found a dead snake, which means he could have died when he would have drunk the water.  This little story belongs to my favourite ones, because we can draw two essential conclusions from it:

“Even you can’t tolerate or like the actions of your friend, he remains your friend.”  – “Every action, resulting from anger, will be convicted as failures.”

Empathy vs. anger 

How many of us made decisions resulting from anger, which has led to misunderstandings, ignorance or even to an end of every kind of relationships? I guess everyone of us has taken imprudently decisions, directing to unpleasant situations and I am pretty sure everyone is aware that an emotion like anger is partially not controllable. Consequently you will not manage to have impact on that emotion.

„But you don’t have to blame yourself for being confronted with such an emotion, because anger is universal for every human being in this world- like every emotion.“

When we can not control anger, what can we do instead? I am pretty sure the most of you thinks it is late to change or make the situation better, because once the decisions are made, you had to stick to them. This is actually one of the biggest mistakes we can do.

„Don’t you think everyone has deserved a second chance?

Do you not think you will be confronted with a situation, in which you would wish for a second chance?

Don’t you think the spoken words and the taken decisions because of anger, does not represent the way you are and the way you think?

Do you not think you could have behaved like the ones you cut off from your life when you would have been under the same circumstances?“

 

The answer to that last question is actually we don’t know how we would have behaved. For this reason we should communicate, but only communication will be not sufficient. I realized very quickly listening to someone very carefully is another key for this problem; and here most us fails.

Why our own ego is sometimes the biggest challenge 

The coronavirus pandemic shows us very clearly how many lives were separated from their loved ones. It shows us how many tears were shed. It shows us the unspoken words due to our ego, can’t be expressed anymore because coronavirus was faster in taking the lives away.

„Don’t you think that regret is much more worser than putting your ego aside?“

Unfortunately ego drives our thoughts in most cases.

„But by putting your ego aside, it won’t make you less worthy. It is an expression of strength.“

The current situation gives everyone space and time to reflect on these issues. Everyone of us will meet death sooner or later. It is for sure. Then why should we allow anger and ego to be apart from the ones we actually love? I could not handle the situation by regretting not to make the effort to come in contact with those, I had the conflict with, when it is too late. In this case I couldn’t bear the pain, I would blame myself and would feel guilty. Let us spread Love instead.

See everything with love!

I strongly believe in love, because love is like the ocean; the few faults or negative experiences (representing a few droplets) they made, won’t affect the pureness of the infinite ocean. Please don’t get me wrong. I am not telling you to forgive every mistake someone made. But I am asking you to reflect on the conflicts because of misunderstandings or lack of communication and listening.

Few weeks ago I could convince two people to get in touch with those, who have been cut from their lives. After asking them how they feel about the reunion, they replied they are feeling relieved, and they are felling happy about their comeback. They are feeling happy, because before their comeback they tried to replace somehow the people, they cut off from their lives. They realized very quickly it won’t work out, since everyone of us represent an individual.

„This reveals by forgiving someone, you are not only giving a second chance to them, but you are also healing. Consequently the wonder behind forgiveness is that it helps out at least two participants.“

Forgiving instead of regretting

Some of the readers definitely would ask themselves at this point “What about the people, who said explicitly that they don’t want to deal with me anymore?” Everyone of us is aware of the fact, that every kind of relationship can not be forced and it shouldn’t be forced, because every relationship is based on love and love can’t arise from compulsion. Couple years ago a wise human told me:

„We want to be there for people we love, but life doesn’t always give us the possibility to be there for them. Therefore we pray.”

 

Yes, I totally agree with this statement. Let us pray for those, who does not want to be in touch with us anymore, because it is the least we can do for them. We should never forget the good experiences we shared with them. We should be thankful to them for shaping us to the ones, we are now. For those who don’t believe in god, you can still be their well-wisher. Take a minute and wish them to be happy and healthy. Trust me, a minute of making a wish for those we love, will make you feel satisfied, because you will be thankful that you were separated from them by conflicts instead by death.

By this article I want to appeal everything can be solved when you are willing to change the situation.

„Let us build bridges instead of building walls.“

Let us be surrounded by infinite love instead of temporary ego, because one day I want to leave this world as loveable place for the sake of our children and grandchildren. I guess at this point we share the same interest. Please be safe and take care of your loved ones.

Additions

Do you already know Vieno’s first article on the blog – „My journey to selflove?“

Picture („Anger“) under Creative Commons License by Dallas Ray Witte

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